MAP

Please play it to get you into the mood, even if it requires you to open in another window. Listen to me and just do it.

Now that you've got Dora's map playing, do you feel irritated? Do you feel annoyed? Do you feel pissed off?!?!!?!? If you have the tiny little voice behind your head going all YEAAAH then you're half way into having what I am feeling right now.

WHAT IS MAP? WHY MAP?

MAP stands for MOST ANNOYING PEOPLE. Yes, this is an adaption from MAPOTI and big love for Ryan Higa for making it. Often times, I've been told to keep calm and just carry on or have a wise quote thrown into my face which takes me 30 minutes to realize what it means but no, not this time. This time, I have had enough of annoying people. I am sick and tired of tolerating and these people deserve to know how much I want to punch them in the face. This goes out to: 

1 - THE MAN WHO WAS SAT BEHIND OF ME IN WONDERMAMA, BANGSAR VILLAGE MALL, JALAN TELAWI 1, ON 9TH JUNE 2013.

So I was happily being anti-social and editing my pictures for Instagram- 

(which I may say turned out quite professional looking #sorrynotsorry) while my friend was eating until suddenly MY side of the comfy seat started shaking and then I heard baby noises so I was forgiving enough to let it go and from then on it was one my most regretful action ever (in forgiving the shake, I mean) I swear the comfy seat was shaking throughout the whole 25 minutes. I am not in anyway exaggerating because I KNEW. Oh, I knew it shook for exactly 25 minutes because it started shaking every since I was using Instagram!! I then couldn't take it anymore so I shook a little of the comfy seat back and then it stopped for 2 minutes until the man on the other side started shaking the whole chair even MORE vigorously than before. I think it was pretty tolerant of me to not complain for the past 25 minutes until then I couldn't take it anymore, I gave a knocked to the chair. The man then raged at me, like wtf. Excuse me sir, you asked me what my problem was and this is gonna sound very flamboyant but my problem is you shaking the chair for TWENTY FIVE FREAKING MINUTES. It was meant to be comfy, not like as if I was going through an earthquake stimulation. Can you be any more rude in front of your kids? Picking on other people just because I'm younger, I swear at that moment I wanted to pour my leftover salad at him. 

2 - THE AUNTIES WHO WORKS OUT AT MY CONDO AT 4PM WHICH IS THE TIME WHEN I GO TO WORK OUT TOO.

Being the lazy person that I am, I would naturally dread work out sessions. To some, working out sessions would be the highlight of their day, but no NOT for me. With so much hate that I have for the gym, what else could make it worse? That's right, middle-aged women with too much free time and spends all of it on gossiping. I mean, everybody gossips but THESE women, these are the people who gossips practically non-stop.

This is how a normal work out session conversation would be:

Guy on weights: I KEN DO THIS!!!!
Guy waiting for the weights: Hey, let me know after you're done with it.
Guy on weights: ok.jpg

okay maybe without the first line, but pretty much like that. Now compare it to a normal work out session that I have to face EVERY SINGLE TIME I try to get out from my bed and loose fats.

Gossip woman #1: ERMAHGERD, I wish my husband was like Christian Grey!
Gossip #2: YEAH LIKE 50 SHADES OF GREY IS SOOOO MUCH BETTER THAN THE BOOK WITH THE APPLE AND THE HAND AS COVER.
Gossip woman #3: It's like the best sexual experience that a woman can ever have but will never have!!!
Gossip woman #1: YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.
Gossip woman #2: I wish I was Ana from 50 Shades of Grey
Gossip woman #3: 50 SHADES OF GREY 5EVAAAAAA.

 

LIKE, THEY LITERALLY TALK LIKE THAT and they are in their early or mid thirties? Can you just imagine how I feel when I am there gasping for air like a suction cup or something and they are there talking about 50 Shades of Grey. Kill me please.

3 - EVERYBODY WHO STARES AT ME. THIS INCLUDES THE WOMAN WHO KEPT LOOKING AT ME IN THE TOILET ON 9TH JUNE 2013 IN BANGSAR SHOPPING CENTER.

Well I'm sorry if I am awkwardly 175cm tall and have purple hair. I'm sorry for my weird accent and my tendency to talk too fast and not understand a lot of things that people say. I'm sorry for my logic but

DO YOU NOW UNDERSTAND? I feel insecure when people stare at me, I'd feel as if I did something wrong when I didn't and it'll be running and replaying throughout my head for the rest of the day thanks to you for being a creep and staring at me annoyingly. I swear, all I wanted was to PEE PEACEFULLY WITHOUT HAVING ANY WEIRD STARES. It's not like it's my fault that I am a stranger to the place, and that it was my look like crap day 3.0, what if I stared at you when it's your look like crap day. Ermahgeeeeeeeerd.

okay I am too lazy to type anymore so I shall bid adieu and sorry for procrastinating, my hard disk broke (it actually just finally broke yesterday but it's gonna be my excuse from now on.)

here's a cake for successfully reading through my rants and waiting for me for 2 weeks.